no yogis over here…

so, the other night, my husband and i decided to do a yoga video online.  i have a trial subscription with grokker and thought this would be a good time to try it out.  since i haven’t done anything yoga-ish since prenatal yoga with i was pregnant with E, i thought it would be a good idea to start with a “beginning” video.

surely, beginning would be comparable to pregnancy yoga, yes?

um… not this video.

so, brian and i are both on mats, obeying the calm instruction speaking over the meditative music.

tuck one leg this way, she says.

we obey.

lift this leg over that leg, she says.

we obey.

turn your torso, she says.

we (more slowly) obey.

put this hand through the opening created by the bend of your leg, she says.

we both watch carefully as she demonstrates.

we (more slowly) obey.

wrap your body, extending your other hand around to greet and hold the other one, she says.

this was more vague to us, so again, we watch carefully.

and this was where things started going downhill.

b: she wants us to do what?

me: put this hand around our body and hold hands.

b: around?

me: yes.

so we both try… and promptly fall over.

b: my hand needs to be longer.

me: my body needs to be thinner.

she doesn’t stop there… each movement being more difficult than the one before.

b: i thought you said this was beginner?

my husband asks this, after toppling over again, his face planted in the yoga mat.

me: it is…

b: is there a pre-beginner?

after several other great lines, including an allusion from an old cell phone commercial about someone calling their mom to learn how to cook a turkey (“you want me to put my hand in the what and pull out the what what???”), we both ended up laying on the floor in random half-yoga positions and watching her pretzel contortions.

b: if this is beginning, i’d hate to see advanced…

no, i’d hate to DO advanced.

i’ve already seen advanced.

it’s call the cirque du soleil.


1 thought on “no yogis over here…”

  • 1
    Emily Park on October 17, 2014

    HAHAHA! I think you just got a crazy video. I do yoga videos a lot and this one just sounds nuts.

    Try the relaxation ones. They involve far fewer pretzels :)

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