music to my ears…

today, i had my 12 week appointment with my OB. even though it wasn’t an extremely “special” appointment– no ultrasound, no finding out the gender– b came with me. i really appreciate his support.  he knows that if i’m forced to hear static instead of a heartbeat again, i don’t want to hear it alone. ...

i will carry you

14. February 2012 christianity, loss, mommyhood 5
yesterday, my cousin and his wife lost their little boy.  born at 23 weeks, little keegan isaiah was just too small to stay… and instead of struggled breathing here, he inhales the air of heaven. when i had just lost my baby, my sister shared this song with me.  it made me absolutely SOB… but ...

it is my right.

06. February 2012 loss, mommyhood, writing 3
last monday, i wrote about miscarriage misspeaks— when people try to make you feel better about the loss of your baby.  excellent intentions don’t always translate to understanding, and the words often seem empty of the comfort they were trying to achieve. i began writing this poem before i even lost my baby, because the ...

miscarriage misspeaks

01. February 2012 loss, mommyhood 4
one of the most painful comments about my missed baby came from someone who loves me very much and only has my best interests at heart: “the grief will go away when you have a real baby.” oh, i knew what she meant to say… and that she meant well… but the pain seared as ...