Archive for the ‘random thoughts & happenings’ Category

my religion. your rules?


12 Jul

if you read my post on pre-, mid-, or post-chip prayer preferences, you know that i mentioned that the idea sprung from a sermon illustration from my pastor.

i couldn’t post the link to the sermon then, because it takes a couple of days for it to become available… but it’s made its way online now.

right now, people (especially youngish current [or former] fundamentalists) are beginning to question rules in religion.

are there supposed to be rules where there is supposed to be relationship?

can (and do) man’s guidelines for life, worship, etc., go against God?

although it’s impossible for a 35 minute sermon to answer these questions to their fullest extent, i believe the sermon begins to tackle these heavy questions in an open-minded and gospel-centric way.

please.  take a listen.

s0m3tim3s w3 just d0n’t want t0 kn0w…


09 Jul

have you ever been standing in line at walmart behind an elderly woman with blue hair as she talks to the cashier about the nature of prunes and how they keep her “system” regular and then describes the times that she is “regular” at?

no?

oh.

well, i have.

and it’s awkward.

it’s what i call a TMI situation. maybe you’ve heard of that term; maybe not. standing for “too much information,” it typically applies to finding out more than you want to know about certain minutiae of people’s lives.

like their digestive regularity, for example.

recently, i’ve noticed that adherence to TMI rule is waning on our social network sites. (of course, this is assuming that it was ever adhered to to begin with.)

as proof, i submit the following stati i’ve collected over the past couple of days.

these are actual updates from facebook. these are not fiction. i didn’t not make them up because i was bored or running out of blog material.

the names have been changed to protect the guilty.

___

from a seriously-dating man: “so i went to see ECLIPSE last night…and forgot about the total MAN CRUSH i have on carlisle cullen! If I was Bella I’d rethink my vampire choice!”

from a stay-at-home mom: “[my child's] diarhea is slowly going away!”

from another stay-at-home mom: “my sister’s in labor! 6 centimeters! all natural waterbirth coming up!” (i guess my question here is, does this sister know that her “progress” and birthing preferences are common knowledge for anyone befriended on facebook?)

from a college guy: “so tonight, i asked this girl to dance not knowing she was in Junior High, i have finally reached pedophile status. . .epic fail. . .”

from a teenage girl: “i d0nt car3 what p30pl3 say anym0r3 h3 will always still b3 my on3 and only, th3r3 is n0 0n3 lik3 this man and i want him f0r3v3r, i l0ve him with my wh0l3 h3art w3 b33n thr0ugh s0 much s0 y st0p n0w.” (why teenagers feel the need to angst online in a status, especially using 0s for Os and 3s for Es, i’ll never know. got to admit though– it takes some skill…)

my shortest blog post yet…


05 Jul

because they’re really aren’t many words to say…

about this.

right here.

… REALLY?!

… i mean, REALLY?!

(what do you even DO with a corkscrew nail?!)

glimpse of grief: 1


29 Jun

e m p t y s p a c e .

he arranged the pillows in the place where she used to rest.

he found his arm around… but the feathers
and all the down collapsed at his embrace.

he turned the other way. this was only
the thirteenth day without her face by his.

oh, escape from grief is brief and only comes
as he finally succumbs to silent slumber.

poor, dreaming man, his eyes still wet with weeping.

just fyi: i’m a post-chipper.*


28 Jun

maybe you’ve been there…

you’ve made a new Christian friend and you decide to go out to dinner.

you find yourself and your company pulled up at a restaurant called  el mojacete, el paco, las tequilas, bonitas tacos or something.  after being called senoritas and/or senors (hopefully correctly corresponding to your particular gender), you slide yourself into a comfy booth and place your drink orders.  and faster than you can say “aye carumba,” a basket of tortilla chips and bowls of salsa goodness slide across the laminate eating surface.

then it comes…

the eye glances down to the (hopefully) fresh and warm chips.

the finger twitches towards the (hopefully) cilantro-laden mexican sauce.

you sit and smile at each other, and study the non-verbals of your i’ve-never-eaten-mexican-food-with-you Christian acquaintance.

inevitably, out of sheer hunger (or the uncomfortable silence), your company eventually:

1) reaches for a chip

or

2) bows his/her head

either way, the awkwardness is broken and you now know the answer to a very important question:

whether or not your friend is a pre- or post-chip prayer person.

both habits have merit…

pre-chippers take the rule of praying for food and apply it to eating in general; which means that, to practice this interpretation correctly, prayer must be exercised for anything that is considered edible.  this would mean that prayer is a prereq before consuming chips & salsa.  (this rule may or may not apply to snacks throughout the day as well.)

post-chippers interpret the praying for food rule to praying before eating meals. now, the word “meals” is also open for interpretation.  appetizers, generally, are considered part of a formal meal when they are paid for and/or require significant waiting or effort to serve and/or eat.  appetizers like chips & salsa, rolls, and peanuts are not paid and wait-for appetizers and therefore do not officially make it into the “meal” category… so they are free to consume without prayer.  (this group would also not typically pray before snacks, unless the snacks are really large and/or this particular believer has skipped a major meal throughout the day.)

of course, there is the occasional mid-chip prayer person.  they dig in, and you think your safe.  you think to yourself, “oh, my new friend is post-chip… no prob.”  and then, half-way through the basket, they jump like they’ve been shot and say, “oh my WORD!  we totally forgot to pray.”  in this instance, you–if you are post-chip–can try and explain your personal tortilla chip prayer strategy (“oh.  i didn’t forget.  i normally pray when either 1) the first basket is done.  or 2) when the food comes.  whichever comes first… you know, kinda like the whole 3,000 miles/3 months oil change thing.”) or just go along with them (“OH YES!), hurriedly bow your head, and make a mental note that this friend is a forgetful pre-chip person.

(mid-chipping can also happen when the group is post-chip, but the food doesn’t come out at the same time.  after prayer, the my-food-is-here people can go ahead and eat without their food getting cold, and the other normal post-chippers can continue snacking until their fajitas are finished cooking.)

personally, i think that mexican-food eating could be a lot easier if these terms could become mainstream in Christian culture.

take the following scenario.  you and your friend sit in the booth.  the chips & salsa are delivered.

you: hey, i’m post-chip.

your friend:  eh, i’m more of a pre-chipper myself.

you:  hey, no prob.  let’s pray.

you bow.  you pray.  you chip.

there is no awkwardness, no analyzation, and all can eat, drink, and be merry.

until the “meal” comes.

because whether or not you are pre-, post-, or a mid-chip person, you’ll still be full by the time the burritos are served.

*btw, the post was inspired by an illustration by my pastor… i’m all about giving create to where create is due.  :)

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