one step at a time

i went to the gym on saturday.  it was a great time of just taking 50 minutes to invest in my health and clear my mental space.  right now, i’m taking care of kids 24/7 (since i’m still nursing through the night) and i’m also taking care of a parent a couple of times a week for a 10 hr chunk of each day…

i was feeling the need to just step away for an hour.

(more than an hour would have been good, too… but hey, you get what you can. 😉 )

as the room-full of us women were sweating and pushing through the different exercises, our instructor talked us through.  even though i know she was speaking about the moment– about the challenge of those inner thigh exercises (oy!)– there were several take-aways that i needed not just then, but for the other stuff that i’m processing through right now.

one of those things is not feeling good enough.  not feeling that my efforts even mean anything.  there have been multiple times this week where i want to get x, y, & z done, and something–anything– prevented me.  thwarted and tired, i felt like the week pushed me to the ground and kicked me while i was down.

that’s why i needed to just get away for a bit.  re-group, you know?

we transitioned into another exercise and as the instructor walked us through how to do it, she said something that struck me.

“do what challenges you today.”


and it was like a lightbulb went on in my head.

because there are days that your kids behave and take naps and you can tackle that project…

and then there are days that a teething baby just wants to be held all morning, and the dishes sit untouched in the sink.

you see, i struggle with believing that i’m only as good as what i get done.  my success as a mother is measured by how many things off of my list i can scratch off.

maybe i’m not the only one that struggles with that?

so this past week, my laundry pile, sitting room clutter, and unchecked list sat as evidence that i was a failure.

a big, fat, frustrated failure.

and that’s when the phrase, “do what challenges you TODAY,” is so, so good.

some days, you can take on the challenge of a project.

some days, the challenge is just getting out of bed.

but each day you face the challenge that’s presented to you, you win.

i think about when i have had to have surgery.  the day after the surgery, they want you up and moving.  the bathroom feet away from you seems like a mile away, and the pain of just getting up can suck the breath right out of you.

getting out of bed that day after surgery?  yeah, that’s a challenge.

it doesn’t matter that the day before, you might have walked a couple of miles, or taught 3 classes, or cooked dinner and wrote a book, or saved the world.

that was yesterday.

today’s not yesterday.

today, the challenge is getting out of bed, and it does no good to compare yourself to your past person, whether that was the day before or the decade before.

do what challenges you today.

no matter what that is.

because no matter what the challenge is, if you rise to meet it, you can’t help but be a success.

and success, i’m learning, is no grand thing.

success, often comes slowly, one step at a time.

mother’s law

you know murphy’s law?

that anything that can happen, will?

well, there is another law out there, my friends.

mother’s law.

there are many tenants, or sub-laws, if you will.

but here’s one that i learned, since my daughter received a frozen umbrella for her birthday.

the rate of a child in the rain is directly and proportionately OPPOSITE to the rate of the rain that is falling.

meanwhile, i’m the one with a full diaper bag and a 20 pound baby in an infant carrier getting completely soaked as i’m trying to move around my 3 year old as she twirls her umbrella.

“we need to hurry,” i sing-song, opening the van door and rushing to plop the baby in.

“i can’t momma,” she says.

“why not.”

“i need my umbrella to have as much rain as possible.”

of course.

of course you do…


what laws has motherhood taught you?

MmmmmmmMonday: avocado chocolate cookies

okay people.

if you are wanting something SUPER rich and SUPER chocolatey AND you want to feel good about your eating a cookie… or two… or three…

these avocado chocolate cookies are for YOU.


i got the idea from this recipe on sprouted fig.  i don’t do sugar, even coconut sugar, right now though.

here’s how i adjusted it to be low carb (if you are a trim healthy mama, it would be an S):

2 avocados, ripe
1/2 cup sweetener, like Gentle Sweet or Truvia
1 doonk of THM Stevia (substitute other brands at your own risk.  others can have strange aftertastes for me.)
2 eggs
1/2 cup unsweetened chocolate powder
4 oz 85% dark chocolate chips/chunks
1 teaspoon baking soda

i used sproutedfig’s cooking instructions.

  1. Preheat oven to 175°C / 350° F.
  2. In a bowl using a hand mixer (or make everything in a food processor), mix together avocado and coconut sugar until smooth. Add in the egg.  (<– i used a food processor.  super easy.)
  3. Mix in the cocoa powder and baking soda.
  4. Stir in chocolate chunks.
  5. Using two spoons place dollops of cookie dough in a baking sheet with parchment paper. The cookie won’t spread as much as usual cookies when baking, so make sure to flatten them out a bit with the back of the spoon. (<– i used a cookie scoop and used coconut oil spray on a cookie sheet and skipped the parchment.  no problem getting them off.)
  6. Bake for 8-10 minutes or until the cookies don’t stick as much to the paper as they did before baking. (<– i did 10.  they will look BURNT.  but they aren’t, i promise.  they are actually SUPER moist.)
  7. Cool down. Store in an airtight container in the fridge.

the hubs and i have observed that they taste better after they have cooled down.  the batter tastes really sweet, the warm cookies not so much… and the cooled down cookies seem to have a proper sweetness proportion.  of course, sweetness is a personal preference, so proceed to add or take away as you would like.

hope you enjoy! :)

*VARIATION: of course, if you want to try different combos, one of my hubs’ favorites is to drop 4-5 drops of Young Living’s peppermint essential oil in there! OH MY HEAD!  sooooo good!*

hard conversations.

i was planning on today being a humorous post.  a “funny friday,” if you will.  however, i’m pushing that post for another day.

life’s like that, you know.  you intend your day to be one way… but it turns out another.

(or are they just my days? eh… probably not. 😉 )

this subject of this post is actually a couple of years in the making… beginning after two friends of ours passed away in a bus accident.  their passing began the beginning of many discussions between my husband and me.

you know the ones… those hard, uncomfortable, “morbid” conversations.

what would happen to your kids if something happened to you.  what we should do, if suddenly one of us were to become a single parent.

it was in a conversation like this that i told my husband that if anything ever happened to me, of course, i’d want him to remarry.  i’d want my babies to have a momma, and i’d want my husband to love again.

but even as those statements were leaving my lips, the thoughts followed: “no one could love them like me.”

and that’s true.  but only partially, i think.

because when you think about it, you can “love” someone again.  people date and love and move on to love the one they marry.  people marry and love and get divorced and move on to love and marry again.  people marry and love and a spouse passes and they grieve and then they move on to love and marry again.

so, in actuality, my husband could be loved like i love him.  not quite the same.  there is no identical love…

but the relationship? the husband/wife relationship?

that is, i guess we can say… replicatable?

but a mother/child?

the more i think about it, the more i’m convinced that no one can love my kids like i love them (outside of our Father, of course).  i could be wrong, and maybe i am… but think of it this way.

you really only get one momma.

that momma can come in a lot of forms: through biology.  through adoption.

however you have yours, she is the one who sacrificed her sleep for you.  her tears for you.  maybe her own personal ambition for you.

she’s the one who worried relentlessly when you had a fever.  or your first break-up.

she’s the one who cried when you did, and placed those weeds that you brought into the house in a little dixie cup and put them on the window sill.

she’s the one that embarrassed you with her affection in jr high and asked you what you had for lunch every day she didn’t have it with you.

she’s that one.

recently, we received some poor news about my own mom that has caused me to think about this even more.

for it dawned on me for the first time that if i believe no one can love my kids the way i do, than no one loves me like my mom does.

oh sure, we’ve had our spats.  what mother/daughter combo hasn’t?

but despite any disagreement, no one loves me like my momma.

and when you see your momma need you as much as you needed/need her, you can’t just sit there and do nothing.

that’s why i’ve started a GoFundMe account for my momma.


if you have the time, please read her story.  if there is anything you can do–pray, give– we’d be most grateful.

if nothing else, please do me this small favor?

if you still have your momma, the next time you see her, give her a big hug and a kiss…

and thank her for caring for you like no one else could.


21day sugar detox: the FINAL tally

alright friends!  after 21 days of being sugar, grain, sweetener, no-additives, etc., free, we have the final results!

me: 2 lbs released
hubs: 2 lbs released

me: 9 lbs released
hubs: 12 lbs released

overall, we feel really great and today, when i had simple mixed fruit (some berries, apple chunks, and tangerine slices) for a part of my lunch for the first time most of a month, i definitely felt like i was eating dessert– EXACTLY what i wanted!

although the weightloss is great, and i’m going to continue to do that, i feel that the detox helped align my tastebuds to taste the natural sweetness in food.  i HIGHLY recommend that!  enjoying food in it’s NATURAL state is the best for your body, and it is great that your body can relearn to love it!

now, i’m heading back to THM with increased vigor to be faithful to its’ principles and with appreciation of the foods that i can eat and be healthy with!

thanks so much for following along my 21 day journey!